The weirdest birthday present ever!

***I got my tongue pierced for my birthday.***

Haaaaaa! OMGosh – I was there, and I still don’t believe I did it.

I bet I set some sort of record for the oldest person ever getting a tongue piercing!

My birthday was April 22 and I got older in years, but not wisdom apparently.

My clear as mud thinking:

I have so many reasons i did it, and several more why i shouldn’t have done it, that I won’t bore you by listing here, but i did it and I’m stuck with it. Really, I don’t feel ‘stuck’ and am happy I had it done. At least I don’t have to be curious about it anymore. Was it worth it? Not sure yet.

My biggest fear is not of getting an infection, or breaking a tooth, or even dying from toxic shock – my biggest fear is from being embarrassed if one of those things happen because I chose to do this in spite of all the risks. But still I think one of my reasons was definitely worth the risk and ridicule even though it is not a completely socially acceptable thing to do. I just hope if I get infection or something, I just die and get it over with. Especially for people my age I guess it is a weird thing to do.I read some pretty ugly things being said online about Drew Barrymore after she had her tongue pierced.

Not that its all bad, or it may not be good. I think, lol – can you tell I’ve got some mixed feelings?

My brother reacted just like my father would have, I think. [banged his head on the wall and cried “Why?”very dramatically.] My husband, Mike thought it was funny and said he wants me to get my nipples pierced next – he’s lucky he can still walk up straight after suggesting that. I’ve been curious about it,and actually do have a plan. If what I think might happen, happens, I will let you know. Hell, I’ll write a book. Next I want multiple piercings in my ears, hahaha. – wait, I’m not kidding


Still, I probably would have never donethe tongue piercing thing, but the tattoo artist, James Ann, at GypsyRose Tattoo in Rapid City, SD where I got my tattoos, had a birthday the day before mine and invited everyone on her customer [email] list to stop by her salon for birthday cake. You know – I was there for cake!

My husband, Mike happened to be in town anyway and I wanted to show him the shop where I’ve had four small tattoos done. Also, we wanted to talk to James Ann about getting ‘wedding rings’ tattooed on our fingers, rather than real rings that neither of us have anymore. [Mine got stolen and my hubby had to have his ring cut off when he broke his hand.]

The tattoos I got before, and the reasons for them are another story


While we were at the studio, I learned that James Ann has a new apprentice piercer named Tammy.

Now, when thinking about piercings, or even of tattoos, I always had the excuse that I shouldn’t spend money to have something so silly done to myself. My ears are already pierced – even though I used to rarely remember to wear earrings.Mom took me when I turned sixteen I think. That was socially acceptable and not nearly as dangerous, after all.

While at the tattoo parlor eating cake,I looked at the jewelry, for all the different places the jewelry could be put, and said I thought it would be interesting and fun to have my tongue pierced, and fun. [Fun? Where’d I get that???]

James Ann said, “Why don’t you?”It is her job to sell the services that her shop provides after all.

I listed a few reasons why I don’t as reply to her question, one being the money, another being my age.James Ann said you’re never too old. And that she was sure that her new apprentice piercer wouldn’t charge me for the piercing, if i would let her PRACTICE on me.

LOL – i know. Practice?

Perhaps I was her ‘first tongue’.Hehehe.

I agreed ‘sorta mostly’ and she went to get set up and of course once she was set up I didn’t want to back out. After all, she seemed happy to be getting to practice O.o)

Once I was sitting in the big chair in the middle of her small room, she got started. First she had to mark my tongue, [with a black sharpie marker] and just for the marking, I had a little trouble sticking my tongue out far enough for her to see well at first, and then leaving it out and holding it still was hard for me. Did you know, I don’t even like to chew gum? Gum tastes good at first, but once the flavor is gone, I don’t want it in my mouth anymore and spitting it out or even taking it out with my fingers makes me gag. Okay, so what was I thinking?

Once Tammy caught my tongue in the forceps, [no small feat] the show was on! It took every ounce of control I have developed at all, to stay still. I had to concentrate hard just on keeping my tongue out and not moving ‘no matter what’ -there was no backing out now. [I know there could have been, but I refuse to change my mind like that.]

It hurt, like amega-super-atomic-PINCH-with-some-kind-of-horrendous-tool-of-torture.

[I might be exaggerating a ‘tiny’ bit there.] But as unpleasant as the needle felt, it ‘sounded’ weird too.

I could feel, and ‘hear’ in my head the crunching of tissue as the needle poked through the thick layers of tongue muscle. It is done from the bottom-up so the artist can get it aimed right toward the mark on the top.

I felt the huge needle break through the top of my tongue, and Tammy said, “It’s done”, but I wasn’t particularly relieved since she still had a tight hold on my tongue – with NOT ONLY the forceps, but with two metal instruments now, one being very sharp and literally ‘through’ my tongue! There REALLY was no backing out or even putting my tongue back in my mouth now!

The actual piercing was done, but Tammy wasn’t done. Have u ever got your tongue stuck on something frozen? I haven’t, but I think this was worse! I panicked a little inside,knowing that I couldn’t pull my tongue back in my mouth even if I wanted to, and I REALLY wanted to! I totally controlled it well, and Tammy didn’t know I was screaming inside, although she may have suspected. I know my eyes were as big as saucers, but I didn’t dare move – who knows where that huge needle would have gone if I had moved! My brain perhaps

Days after, I could still hear the tissue crunching sound when i thought about it and i got a little barfy. Of course its not like having your ears done, punch; punch”You’re done” and ignorant me, I thought it would be.

It was more of a squish-stab-crunch,then ow-ow-ow; hold-hold, while the post is put in, and the top screwed on in spite of everything getting slimy-sticky with blood.

When it really was over, Tammy said I did great and thanked me for letting her do it. AAAAAAhhhhhhh!

I must have looked a little shocked or something, cause she asked if I was okay.

I WAS okay – really I was. I didn’t even get nauseous until I thought about the sound it made later, and it was only a little gagging, no actual barf. The actual piercing didn’t hurt nearly as much as I thought it would, and even if a little painful, I don’t get dizzy or faint at such things not for donating blood or getting the tattoos or when my kneecap winds up behind my knee.

I wish I could faint sometimes at the dentist, but this didn’t scare me nearly as much as going to the dentist does. In the dentist chair my knees shake so bad my shoelaces make noise and come untied and last time I started crying uncontrollably. They rescheduled and had me come back with a large dose of Valium in me. That can be another story sometime too.

I stayed in the piercing chair for a moment, similar to that moment after some kind of accident, or a fall from a horse and you stay completely still . . . wondering what the hell happened and making sure all your parts are still attached and working. An instant later, I slid off the chair, grinning and followed Tammy back to the waiting area.

Right away, I stuck my tongue out at Mike to show him and noticed that my tongue was just a little sore,like a sore muscle gets when it is overused. [The tongue is a muscle,so yeah.] The ink under the blood made it look really icky I’m sure,and Mike cringed a little when he first saw it, but he was so brave,saying HE would never get anything pierced – bless his little heart.

So, now I got my tongue pierced for free; Tammy got to practice, and if it was her first time, she needs NO practice. She was awesome and patient with me, and kind, and got the job done. Can a person be kind when they’re jabbing a huge needle through your tongue from the bottom up? They can do it kindly, of course – I asked her to do it, and agreed to it, so yes, she was very kind to me.

Someone else might have knocked me in the head with a hammer to make me hold still.

And the ‘free’ part; well, it was free as long as I do the after-care correctly and don’t get an infection that costs hundreds of dollars to clear up, or causes my tongue to just fall out or something. I am on a liquid diet for at least two weeks, until I get the long post replaced. Did you know that ice cream counts as liquid! So does pistachio pudding as long as u remember not to chew anything

There will still be a little expense,since in two weeks to a month I will get to choose and buy the real jewelry to put in, which can be changed at any time, just like earrings. The ‘bar bells’ can cost anywhere from 2 dollars to 200dollars -for gold. I’m sure they can go up from there. I’m sure Drew Barrymore has a diamond in hers.

I want to find a dragon’s head to rest on my tongue, [with amber eyes] or maybe flashing red lights for eyes. [yes they have them, with batteries under your tongue.] -zap!

I already saw a ‘frog’ I want, it is so funny a tiny green frog sitting on your tongue. The ‘bar bell’ that I have now is very plain and extra-long to accommodate the swelling.The second day, my tongue was so swollen, the ball on top had sunken down into my taste-buds so deeply that you couldn’t see it, so yeah,it needs to be very long while it heals. [two weeks to a month.]

And OMGosh – I don’t have to wonder what its like anymore – I now know exactly what every moment was like, and how it still feels and what I have to do to cope with it.For example, I had no idea how much a tongue is involved if you cough! The pain I experienced the first time I coughed from excessive exhaust from a vehicle, while driving home from the tattoo parlor,almost put me down. Now if I feel a cough coming, I brace myself –but it doesn’t help much. If I’m driving I try to pull over first.

Also, since the post with the balls on top and bottom are extra long, I have to be extra careful not to get them caught between my teeth and bite them. That will break a tooth and hurt really bad and then I will have to go to the dentist, which is a fate worse than death. I think it is another reason why they recommend a ‘soft’ diet, besides eating anything is painful at first,but also not having to bite anything hard while you heal is a good thing.

And talk about timing!

I had been trying for months to find a job without even one call for an interview. The day after I got my tongue pierced and it swelled up so I was talking funny, I got called to schedule an ‘assessment’. That wasn’t too bad. I was very quiet,and the assessment was like a test of many of your skills, all on the computer and headphones, listening but not speaking.

The next day they called me back for an interview, scheduled for the next day!

This job totally depended on my ability to communicate clearly; over the phone! So the interview was all about verbal communication with even a role-play! Eeeek – again.

There I was, excited at being called for consideration as an employee with a large company that offers advancement and benefits, until I realized that I was having a lot of trouble talking at all, let alone speaking clearly. My mouth, even down my throat and jaw hurt to even try to talk – I didn’t want to talk at all, and they said it would be an hour-long interview!

The interview wasn’t until three in the afternoon, so from when I got up until time to go, I let a lot of ice melt in my mouth and took the recommended doses of ibuprofen and managed to survive and I must have done okay even, because they called me back the following Monday to make me a job offer, which I accepted!

I’m still holding with my decision to have the piercing done; just wish the timing for that interview had worked out a little differently. I lucked out and it didn’t seem to matter. Just think, I got the job anyway – when I am a hundred percent – I will even be better

It’s amazing isn’t it?

It seems that I waited until I was much older, to ‘rebel’ against my parents. Is that what I’m doing?

I don’t really think so, not the piercing anyway, but the tattoos, maybe a little. Even if so, I waited so long, both of my parents have passed away, but at least I can’t upset them by doing this or anything else.

Isn’t my brother’s reaction funny? Before he was old enough to have it legally done, he was out getting tattoos and is now sorry he did it. He even tried to talk me out of getting the tattoos.

As you probably know, I was always the ‘good’ kid. My brother thinks our parents and especially our Aunt Molly will be haunting me now. He described her reaction even as I got it done; saying she made a tidal wave under the golden gate bridge. He added that mom and dad made the entire South Mountain area shake, where their ashes are sprinkled in Arizona.

The disclaimer and warnings:

Let me make this perfectly clear. I am in no way recommending anyone else have their tongue pierced, other things pierced, or tattooed.

“I waited until I was MUCH older and fully understood the possible consequences, if not all of the effects; like the *crunching* sound was an unexpected effect.

If you do still want body art when your older, do it only after a lot of research, and talking to people who have done it and liked it, and have done it and are sorry they did it, and why. Be sure.

I am old enough to be pretty sure now,that I don’t want to work in the kind of environments where having piercings or tattoos are at least frowned upon, or will even make you ineligible for employment. I’m not even qualified for many of those work environments. Still, the tattoos I got and even the tongue thingy can be easily hidden should the need arise, well, once it heals up and I can speak clearly again I can hide it pretty well if I need to. Now that it is healing and can speak clearly again, mostly.

Give a warped meaning of being tongue tied.

Part deux

Personal and related experience:

My brother tried to tattoo himself when he was too young to have it done professionally, and then had a couple more done at a studio later. Now he’s doing his best to keep them hidden because of the well-paying clients he has now, body art is frowned upon by a lot of people. By the time you find out whether a prospective client frowns upon tattoos or piercings, it is often too late.

When I got my first tattoos done, my oldest friend saw them and said, NOT –

“Oh cool what does that mean?”,or even “Ooooh didn’t it hurt?”

Like I had hoped, my oldest, dearest friend said, “Well fine – now I’ll be seeing you in the police line up after the police come and take you away.”

I can’t wait to tell her about the tongue, you may all hear the scream from AZ, even with your windows closed and even in Europe and Asia. In fact, perhaps I will let her read about it online, ’cause I’m a coward. I’m sure my husband told her husband, and he would tell her, so I’m waiting for the ball to drop.

She expected to see me on ‘cops’ any evening – just cause I got a couple of little tattoos, but how she reacted was fine; I even expected it really, and wasn’t completely shocked or hurt [not completely].

Just know that some folks will react that way, and the only time it really hurts you, is if its a banker you’re trying to get a loan from; or an employer you want to get a job from; or any other situation where you want something from someone who judges stuff like this negatively like my friend does.

Because of his tattoos, my brother said he has lost interested potential clients, and a veterinarian I know said he lost a client who didn’t think him suitable to care for her dog, because of his ‘body image’.

Two years ago, I eavesdropped on a CEO and two managers from a large, local company while they were speaking at a coffee shop [Many of you know how much I like to hang out in coffee shops.] about the candidates that they had interviewed. From what I gathered it was a position in management.

They had it narrowed down to two candidates, and I heard one of them say that the last two candidates were nearly equal in schooling and experience. One ‘interviewing manager’ pointed out which of the candidates had visible tattoos, and they decided right then to hire the other one because of their companies ‘image’.

I truly didn’t think it was fair, and I really knew nothing about what was going on, so maybe it was ‘fair’.Employers and others know that even if they personally don’t worry about such ‘body image’ they will have customer’s that do. They aren’t going to take a chance on hiring someone to represent their company that doesn’t have a certain ‘image’, knowing that image can hurt business. Being overweight is a problem too, but that’s for another time

Now it has been a few more days and I tell you, all the extra mouth care, tooth and tongue brushing and such has really made a difference in my breath and how nice my mouth feels. My tongue is pink and looks healthier than it ever has before!I’ve even don’t a little ‘oil-pulling’ but I think the real result is from the improved mouth care – I am brushing like five times a day– and after anything goes in my mouth.

So anyway that was my news. All questions or comments welcome. Wow, this turned into a novel. After all that, if anyone made it this far and is still reading, I express my appreciation for your hanging in there to read about my little old thoughts and experiences.


Trying to Write the Old-fashioned Way

love to go downtown, especially to the coffee shop in the Library.
There are a few other locations; coffee shops or bookstores where I
can be found regularly too. I like to watch people; sometimes even
meet people, but mostly I like to sit in a coffee shop that has WiFi.

design web sites, research writing topics and belong to a couple of
writing groups, both locally and on-line whom I’ve learned a lot

also enjoy writing while I’m out; adding to and editing my own
stories. There is only one coffee shop I go to sometimes where the
music is way too loud – and the kind of music is especially
annoying. No, not rap, rap would be better. I don’t try to actually
write while I’m there. Other than that, I can block out any noise or
conversations going on around me and get a lot done.

the last two years or so, I’ve had a story trying to bust out. It is
coming from when I played, slept, worked and lived ‘horses’. I did it
for almost 30 years, and then I got married. I didn’t mean to trade
that life I loved for a husband, but I did. I broke youngin’s and
re-trained spoiled horses and I can say it – I was good. The first
year as a teenager, I fell off a couple times, but after that, for
all those years I never hit the ground again, unless the horse went
down with me. I got em stuck in sand and water, like quick sand or
they fell while we were competing, in several different disciplines.
No horse ever got hurt, except once when one banged his tooth on a
barrel during a gymkhana and chipped it. The times in my life when
I’ve been hurt – a horse was not involved.

of the experiences I had over the years, I think would make good
stories. And if I fictionalize them, they will be even more fun and
intriguing, [at least for me]. I heard you should write what you
know, and horses is what I know.

this is where the ‘urge’ to write has come from for me. Its amazing,
I hated English and writing when younger, and now I can’t get enough.
I have written well over a million words now, in about 40 stories.
The computer makes it really easy to count. I’m thinking its time I
tried to get something published, so I am working hard on getting the
first of my stories, perfect. I know it will never happen, but
perhaps I can make it perfect enough, to call it ‘finished’ and that
is my goal.

and family are always teasing me about being “On the computer”
too much, and I’ve been ‘on’ even more since I started trying to
learn how to write.

I wish to point out that I’m not just “on the computer”.

am writing, or reading, or drawing or communicating, or creating,
learning – or even working! I am helping two gentlemen get a book
they’re writing ‘digitized’. I am their typist and I’m doing the
layout as well, so I am not just sitting for hours “on the
computer” doing nothing productive, like playing solitaire or
doing whatever you do on facebook. I actually have a facebook account
– but I still don’t see the point. All I get is a long list of who
is friends with who, and I don’t care; but I digress, back to

Still, because of the frequent comments I hear about
‘being on the computer all the time’, for one day, I decided to leave
the laptop at home. Yesterday, I took a spiral notebook of real paper
and pencils, instead of anything that would have to be plugged in.

After all, this is how writers used to write, I know of a few
who still do, like the gentlemen I’m working for now. To write on
good old-fashioned paper, with a pen sounded wonderful! After all,
paper, pens and pencils are lighter than dragging a laptop around,
eh? And I don’t have to look for electricity after a couple of hours.
I thought this would be a good thing.

have discovered that there are not enough erasers in the WORLD for me
to try to write anything the old-fashioned way! I make way too many
boo boos, and really, really missed the ‘delete’ key!

my – how did books even get written before the computer! I would
never get even one chapter finished!

was there for four hours, and have nothing to show for it, but eraser
crumbs in my clothes.
The coffee shop employees will be
vacuuming up piles of eraser crumbs for a month.